Fantasy Land Once upon a time in a fantasy land The king ruled under his advisor's command The queen and the wizard slept together And the masochistic jester wore hot tight leather The sea monster came knocking on the castle door Asking why they sacrificed the dirty town whore The village caught a gypsy and burned her at stake 'Cause they all thought that she was the witch by mistake The dragon took a maiden to a far away cave So she tied a leash around his neck and made him her slave The duke ran off with a troubled peasant girl, The duchess and the squire plotted deaths for the earl Once upon a time in a fantasy land Everything the king touched turned into sand So it couldn't be helped the queen suffered from tooth decay And the whole round of knights lost fights everyday The executioner was clad in a frilly dress The priest had some sins he just couldn't confess The bastard was a chef and witch's rebel son He mixed paprika with warts in his poison The sodomistic princess flirted with her horse, So she and her cousin got a divorce The poor stable boy was raped by the prince This land hasn't been quite the same ever since Once upon a time in a fantasy land Their own king and queen were eternally banned The dragons and the unicorns were lost forever And the devil and the angel lived happily ever after Once upon a time in a fantasy land The story book closed and that was the end.